?

Log in

entries friends calendar profile
i've had this dream
suppressio
I can't deal with my brother anymore. To many this situation might have an easy solution, but not to me.

Since I recall being alive, he was there. He was my best friend many times, and also my worst enemy - always in the child's point of view. We would fight and be brother and sister again the next minute. I could tell him everything, and trust thim to do the same the other way around. I felt that he looked up to me, and so I tried to be the best, the brightest, to be right and trustworthy. But that won't work anymore.

There's no way to know for sure, to put a finger on it and tell when things started to change, but they did. And I'm clueless. I fell hopeless.

I can't blame school, or friends, or family, as I know them all and they didn't change me much throughout the years, but the thing is that something changed him. He's happy, but he isn't happy near me. I feel that he hates me - when we fight, he wants me dead. Every little thing is a mean to start an argument; our angry words hurt, and stay. The next day we won't be friends again, we won't look at eachother, we won't laugh. He'll be better, going to school and meeting friends he likes, but I won't. I can't stop thinking about it.

To most people - those who don't like their brothers and sisters, or simply don't love them enough - my problems may seem stupid and my fears pointless. On my part, I can't find suitable words to describe how it is for me; think of a best friend who walks away suddenly, and you don't know what was it that you did wrong. My heart breaks. Everytime.

I know it's ridiculous writing this here, because no one reads my journal, but I had to. If you're reading this, please give me some help. I don't want to, but perhaps I'll need to live somewhere else if I can't figure this out.

Tags: , , ,
Current Mood: sad sad

5 comments or Leave a comment
suppressio
Which song makes you happy every time you hear it, and why?

'Always look on the Bright Side of Life', from the Life of Brian.
I can't tell why... perhaps it's the whistling :) anyway, whenever I hear that song, I'm in peace - life is just like that, you liking it or not, and the more you let it be, the better.

Tags:

9 comments or Leave a comment
suppressio
Though I'm not into Supernatural anymore, I thought it would be fair posting these here, for anyone who's interested...

They're all here, from the first one I ever sketched. Not too many, but they give a certain idea of how it all went.

not here, it would be too crowdedCollapse )

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Current Mood: tired tired
Current Music: Moby - Wait for Me

4 comments or Leave a comment
suppressio
If you could turn back time, how far back would you go?

I'd go back till my conception - with some luck I'd be born a different gender. A someone else.

Tags:

2 comments or Leave a comment
suppressio
This is something from a while ago.. I guess it was the first time I ever did a digital painting.
The subject is Mr. Leonard Nimoy in Deathwatch (1966), as Jules LaFranc; astounding movie, for sure. But then, I'm a fan, so..



Facing a wall.. XD ?

Tags: , , , , ,
Current Location: Looney Land
Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: radiohead - pyramid song

1 comment or Leave a comment
suppressio

Free slash-related pseudo art. And Spirk, for  a change.
Both done on GIMP, in a sort of a sequence way, even though facial features don't look the same.

Like I always say, character consistency my ass comes with much training.

Tags: , , , , , ,
Current Music: duran duran - save a prayer

4 comments or Leave a comment
suppressio
For something completely the same.

And sketchy

C:

Tags: , , , , , ,
Current Mood: content content
Current Music: the lumberjack song

Leave a comment
suppressio


Just the black and white picture from my avatar. I prefer it negative, though.
I still have to learn how to make those nice links for pics that I'd rather not have here..

Tags: , , , ,
Current Mood: content content
Current Music: duran duran - notorious

Leave a comment
suppressio

I came to see what is Livejournal about, to post lame art and to meet new interesting people and ideas. Hi :)

Tags:
Current Mood: content content
Current Music: duran duran - come undone

Leave a comment